How Do You Know She Was Satisfied Last Night?

Two decades ago, when I was working as a helper to the carpenters in a construction, I overheard two men talking about their marriage, if how their relationships with their wife were going, and the common problems they usually had. I was behind them and seem they did not notice me, as they were busy hammering nails on the wooden floors they were working on.

All the other subjects were just like normal for me and did not mind following their stories; however, maybe there were no more subjects they could talk about, one of them asked the other about how was his sexual relationship with his wife. Hearing that I slowed down with what I was doing and made my ears more open to what is the answer of the other fellow would be. I paid more attention, specially, when the man questioning asked, “How to tell if your wife was sexually satisfied last night?” Well, that made me almost stop moving, because as much as the man was interested to know the answer to his question, a man barely reaching 20 years old like me is also eager to know the answer.

I was not yet married at that time, and don’t have much experience about women - sexually, so I thought I might as well listen to not be stupid like the man when the time comes for me to satisfy my partner.

I was expecting an immediate and direct answer from the other fellow, but instead, he asked his companion why he was asking. The other man replied with a trace of embarrassment on his words that he does not know if he ever satisfied his wife or not. He said he was embarrassed to ask his wife, however, he believed there must be some signs to show, only that he did not know how to recognize it.

He said, they were married for 10 years already, but all those years, it was still a puzzle for him if he had ever satisfied his wife. I was smiling to myself as I listen to their conversations. I thought that was a free education as it was not from a book but a firsthand knowledge I could learn by listening.



The other fellow was smiling and somewhat thinking how will he answer the other fellow. Then he cleared his throat and, again asked his buddy, “How was the mood of your wife in the morning after the night you had sex?” His buddy thought for a moment, then said, “Hmmmm, I did not notice anything. It was like all is normal,” he said.

“You know what, one of the things I observed about my wife was she is always in a good mood to prepare my food after we had a bout the night before. In addition, she smiles like she had eaten some sweets,” he told his buddy with a laugh. “But, if she ask for it, and I was not able to perform, because we had a drinking spree, or I was tired from work, or just not in the mood, expect that on the following morning - and all the days after - that she would very irritable, and you cannot predict what she wanted” he continued, as he was preparing to hammer a nail into the wooden floor he was working on.

The other guy was thrilled to the new information he was learning, and like a student who wanted to know more from a new found teacher, he continued asking more questions. Well, as a young man who wanted to know more about the secrets of sexually satisfying your woman, I unwittingly stopped what I was doing and concentrated on listening to their conversations.

My Father's Advice About Wine

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My relationship with my father was not that great, but he left me some memories of his wisdom - one of which is on drinking alcohol. 

His simple wisdom is nothing to most learned people, but it greatly shaped me as a man. 

I always tell this to my fellow drinkers and many of them agreed; as a result, some were trying to apply it in their life. 

Seeing that it has an impact to the others, I decided to write it down and share it for those who have trouble to quit drinking alcohol, and for those who wants to control it. 

My father did not tell me the advice but I was there when he was telling it to a group of men who were talking about drinking too much, and too often, resulting in hangovers the following day. That was also the time I heard the drunkards’ saying, “To avoid hangover, stay drunk!” 

(If there are people who drink like they own the wine factory, I think the Filipinos are one of those whom you can count on the top ten.)

“In our culture, there is no way you can avoid drinking wine, or alcoholic beverages” he started to say. The men kept quiet and each one looked at my father expecting something important on what he will say. 

My father only finished 6th grade, and he got his wisdom from the streets and from living most of his youth in the company of drunkards, and vagabonds. His friends and the people in our small village knew him as a tough person, and with a loud voice, but they respect him because he was fare with them. He did not hurt anyone for the sake of showing who he was, but ready to fight if they want one.

“If the old men of our barrio meet to solve a dispute between neighbors, or a problem, a wine is always served on the table. When you attend a wedding, birthday parties, or even when you meet a friend, wine is always preferred over other drinks,” he continued.

“Therefore, the only thing you can do, to not hurt your health is to control yourself. Self-discipline is the key so that you will not end up drunk at the end of the day. Remember that when you are drunk, most of your words will lose its credibility. In addition, man’s credibility is one of its best assets. Anywhere you go, people will respect you if you can keep your composure for the whole day, notwithstanding expensive drinks are put on the table.” 

I do not know if these words affected those men who were on the table at that time, because after that scene, I went to take my college away from home. Consequently, during my college days, our group cannot resist going into a bar and spent our time there drinking liquor – until one or all of us are drunk. 

 

I saw how my friends lost their wits when they get drunk, and there were times that I did not know how I arrive home to the place where I was staying. Because of that binge drinking, I got headaches and weak the following day, and feelings I cannot imagine how to explain; all I know was I had a terrible hangover. 

During the time I suffer hangover, the words of my father kept reverberating on my ear. Thinking about it many times, I decided to follow his advised to the men whom he gave it. I thought that if I do not discipline myself on drinking alcohol, I might end up like the others who died as a result, of being addicted to alcohol.

Now, whenever I go with my peers to have a drink, it is either I will take a jigger or two, or not to touch the wine at all. 

The pressure of their words teasing me was tough to swallow but I stood up my ground. As time went on, they understood my reasons and even admired me, that some of them were doing what I was doing. It amazed me that my father’s advice had an influence with them. 

Until now, I still drink, and I admit that there are still time when I drink more than my capacity but the words I heard from my father always keep me on check. Without those words, I believe, I am one with the men who lost their sense of worth because the spirit of the wine had overwhelmed them.

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